Sunday, March 11, 2012

Ravishing AssDust?

"So... Did you miss me?

...

"I know you did... You know nobody has ever held you like I have... You know how everyone says you look better when you're wrapped around me..."

...

"I missed you too... I want you too, but you're a bit... Off limits. I just want to tell you if things don't work out with Ken... My door is always open!"

The Scene faded from black to show the gold and black freak knelt in the corner of a darkened room, speaking to himself. The camera positioned over Goldust's shoulder to show who was he talking to... On his black gloved hands he held the EBWF intercontinental championship belt. The camera Panned out to show Ken Kennedy standing behind the gold one, he was wearing a black ***HOLE T-shirt and a trucker cap, the rest of his wrestling gear consisted of black boots, green trunks and black knee pads. Chewing on his bubble gum he darted a suspicious look at Goldie.

Mr. Kennedy: What are you doing there?

Goldust jumped up a bit and dropped the belt.

Goldust: No-nothing! Damn, you scared me Ken!

Goldust reached out to pick the belt up and rub his open palm over it.

Goldust: There, there... Forgive me for dropping you.

Ken shook his head and just snapped away the belt from Goldust, draping it over his right shoulder.

Mr. Kennedy: You grow weirder by the minute...

Goldust: And not only weirder...

Goldust bit the air and Ken took
 a step backwards.

Mr. Kennedy: Stop fooling around man! It's because of things like that we got jumped last week by Trilogy... You were there! And if it weren't for Cody...

Goldust: Do you think that hot piece of a...

Mr. Kennedy: You're referring like that to your brother?

Goldust: It's his fault for being so... RAVISHING!

Ken showed his disgust and took another step back from the freak, who just tapped his forehead with his index and muttered the words "Mind Games". The camera panned out furthermore to show "Dashing" Cody Rhodes standing behind Ken and Goldust.

Cody Rhodes: Ass... Dust right?

Mr. Kennedy: Technically, yes... I know this is a one time thing, so we don't need to get any "Dashing", "Good Looking" or whatever you call yourself in our name, right?

Cody Rhodes: Right.

Goldust: So much for the fortune I spent on Ravishing AssDust T-Shirts, Cups, Mugs, Caps and iPhone cases.

Cody Rhodes: Mom sent her regards.

Goldust: Thanks bro!

Cody Rhodes: She also knows it is you who steals her underwear...

Mr. Kennedy: Can we discuss business? Cody, you and I... We've never seen eye to eye. You and I are in this because we both have beef with Trilogy... And with WrestleMania around the corner, some momentum wouldn't be so bad.

Cody Rhodes: Agreed.

Mr. Kennedy: Ted is yours... As simple as that. Whenever he's on the match I'll tag you in...

Cody Rhodes: What about Styles, you want him and him only right?

Mr. Kennedy: Boy, I just love taking that schmuck to school.

Goldust: So... Cody has Ted and Ken has AJ... You guys are pretty considerate to leave me the hottest of the three.

Cody Rhodes: You know... You should really outdo yourself tonight if you go up against the Miz!

Goldust: Because he's the World Champ?

Cody leaned in and shook his head, whispering -although rather out loud and pretty clear.-

Cody Rhodes: Because I think he might swing your way...

Cody Followed with a wink.

Goldust: Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Oh Boy! I'll better go powder my nose!

Goldust jumped a couple of times before rushing out of the locker room... As he opened the door, Jonathan Coachman was revealed to be standing in the doorway.

The Coach: So guys... Ready?

Cody Rhodes: What does it look like?

Mr. Kennedy turned to Coachman and extended his right hand... The Coach extended his own hand looking for a handshake... But Ken pulled his hand backwards and spat the gum he was chewing into his hand.

Mr. Kennedy: The mic. Now. Before you screw it up.

The Coach looked at his face in disgust and handed the mic to Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy: LADIES AND GENTLEMENNNN... The Road to WrestleMania makes another stop in Montville Connecticut...

Cody Rhodes: Heh. Montville... Sounds like a lame Facebook Game.

Mr. Kennedy: In tonight's Main Event we will have... The bizzare looking gold and black fruitcake known as... Gooooooldust! His Brother and the next Path To Glory Champion... "Dashing" Cody Rhodes!

Ken paused and pulled the mic closer to his face.

Mr. Kennedy: And Green Bay's last hope... Weighing at Two Hundreth and Forty Two Pounds... Hailing from Green Bay... WISCONSIIIIIIIN... He is, Mr. Money in the Bank... He is the INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!!!

Ken inhaled deeply before he yelled to the top of his lungs.

Mr. Kennedy: MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER KEEEEEEEENNEDYYYYYYYY!

....Wait for it... You waited for two years for me to hold a belt... You can wait for it... Just... Here it comes.

Ken stepped into the Camera.

Mr. Kennedy: KENNEDY.

Ken tossed the Microphone over his shoulder, The Coach struggled to grab it.

The Coach: Cody, tonight you're...

Cody Rhodes: That's Mr. Rhodes to you...

The Coach: huh?

Cody shrugged.

Cody Rhodes: I figured if you're calling him Mr. Kennedy, you could call me Mr. Rhodes...

The Coach: Mr. Rhodes... Tonight you guys are teaming up for the first time ever to take on...

Ken snatched the microphone away from the Coach.

Mr. Kennedy: Let's see... La Dee Da... The Trilogy! You know Coach, this is getting old... This is getting very boring! Allow me to Elaborate... I meet with AJ Styles in a Ring and beat him, then he confronts me backstage and I beat him up again! Then he tries to jump me and fails miserably... Tonight he has another shot...

Cody Rhodes: A shot at what?

Mr. Kennedy: Learning the lesson. Coming to his senses and realizing who the bigger and better man is... I'd tell you right now, but I'm saving that for the end...

The Coach took a hold of the Microphone and turned his attention to Rhodes.

The Coach: Cody, how do you feel about tag teaming with two people you've never tagged before?

Goldust crept from behind The Coach and spoke into the microphone.

Goldust: I always wanted to tag along with Cody... But he always said no.

The Coach seemed startled and backed away from Goldust... Who instinctively sniffed his armpit.

Goldust: Weird... It's the third time this has happened today.

Cody Rhodes: You might be right, baldie. I might have never tagged with my brother or Mr. Kennedy, but you can be damn sure we are on the same page...

He paused to look at his bizarre brother.

Cody Rhodes: At least I like to think we are. We have no coexistence problems, while I heard there was a brawl earlier in Trilogy's locker room for a flask of nail polish.

Cody smiled.

Cody Rhodes: Tonight might even be a three on two Tag team match... Who knows if Mr. EBWF World Champ has an imaginary girlfriend he wants to take out on a date or something...

Mr. Kennedy: We've all seen the tension building up between the members of Trilogy...

Cody Rhodes: I actually change the channel as soon as I can, but still.

Mr. Kennedy: Sooner or later that cute little bubble of theirs is going to burst... And their cute little boy scout group is going to fall apart! AJ lost his Intercontinental championship to yours truly... Just wait until Ted loses to Cody... Just wait! You'll see how much friendship and love and slumber parties we will get with three hungry wolves and one chunk of meat... AJ wants the world title... I don't like the kid's attitude but he can't be that dumb not to want it. The Miz wants it just as bad... Ted? Ted would sell his dad for that Title... "Everybody has a price". Well... Not everybody, unless you want to put price on an Asshole... which might be illegal here in Connecticut! Betting is also illegal on this state, but if it weren't all the chips would be on... MIIIISTEEEEEEERS KENNNEDYYYYYYYYY!


KENNEDY!

Goldust jumped in front of the mic.

Goldust: My turn! My Turn!

Cody and Ken: NO!

Goldust sobbed and walked to the back of the room as the scene faded to black.