Two sides of a coin. Day and night. Black and white. Up and down... That was how the panorama looked like about a year ago. Creative department were having problems giving me good material to work with. (not that I was helping them by pitching any ideas.)
While AJ Styles skyrocketed through the rankings, beating former world champion after former world champion, in a series of impressive matches in order to make a name for himself... I slowly fell into oblivion.
Sure, Randy Orton was a formidable adversary and our matches definitely turned into classics, but it was time to claim the prize that has eluded me for far too long.
After a more than decent rumble showing AJ Styles and me have been at each other's throats... Tonight at fallout we close a chapter in this rivalry, with the winner getting the... Intercontinental Championship?
It doesn't even matter anymore, AJ Styles mocked me for the last time... I don't care if I leave Chicago with a fancy looking belt or with an arrest warrant. I hope that tonight we catch up on all the time he has spent running away from me!
The "EBWF.net" Logo blinked along the screen with the words EXCLUSIVE also appearing on screen.
"You should paint your chains gooooooold...."
The bizarre one looked as if a colossal shiver traveled up his spine as he mentioned the word 'gold'. Dressed in his trademark jumpsuit with his black and gold facepaint he sat on the floor like a small child, while Ken Kennedy held a big bike chain on his hands. They were in what looked like Kennedy's locker room... Nice leather furnishings, an LCD screen.
Mr. Kennedy: No. Shut up...
Goldust sobbed playfully.
Goldust: You're always so mean to me...
He laid on the floor and smiled up at Ken.
Goldust: You're so cute when you're mean to me... And oh boy you look mean with that chain in your hands...
Ken flung the chain a little in the air and smirked.
Mr. Kennedy: You think?
Goldust: Oh boy! Yes you do! You know how you'd look even meaner?
Mr. Kennedy: How?
Goldust: Put on some leather pants and a leather vest... And if you cutout holes on your derriere... SNAZZY!
Goldust purred and smiled at Ken, who scoffed and placed the chain over his right shoulder. He looked at his reflection on the mirror... Holding the chain in his hand.
Mr. Kennedy: It all ends tonight... AJ will be history after I win this match.
Goldust: I thought rivalries ended inside Hell in a Cell...
Mr. Kennedy: Well I'm going to end this one in a chain match, ok?
Goldust: You're so kinky Ken!
Goldust giggled a little.
Goldust: If I held a grudge with someone I'd kiss and make up... They say make up sex is the best!
Mr. Kennedy: Shut up already! This is serious...
Goldust: Alright, alright! I'll be on the lookout in case some "menage a trois" members want to have any problems with you.
Mr. Kennedy: Do you really think They're thinking about interfering? First and foremost I have a freaking biker chain! Would you mess with me if you I had a chain?
Goldust: Is it a dirty question?
Mr. Kennedy: Nevermind. On top of that, they are going to have their hands full with the elimination chamber!
Goldust: You are right. But technically you don't have the chain...
Mr. Kennedy: What do you mean?
Goldust: Well you'll have the chain tied to your wrists... But so will AJ's.
Mr. Kennedy: That's not a problem.
Goldust: Yeah, you could bite the hands off and whip the freak to death.
Mr. Kennedy: Who the hell do you think I am? Brian Kendrick? Besides, I know AJ is going to be chained to me! That's a good thing! That means there is no running away, no disqualification or count out.
Goldust: You're so possessive! I'm liking that... So about this AJ... Why all the hate?
Mr. Kennedy: Haven't you watched any TV as of late?
Goldust: Yeah, AJ and this Kaitlyn always make me giggle... I think She and Trent Barreta would make a lovely couple!
Mr. Kennedy: AJ? AJ Lee?
Goldust: Is there any other AJ?
Mr. Kennedy: AJ STYLES!
Goldust: Who?
Mr. Kennedy: The guy you saved me from at Warfare?
Goldust: Uhhh who?
Mr. Kennedy: The Intercontinental Champion?
Goldust: Me?
Mr. Kennedy: You were the intercontinental Champion like 15 years ago... Anyway, you'll see him tonight!
Goldust: is he cute?
Mr. Kennedy: I won't answer that.
Goldust: Alright, so! Have you practiced?
Mr. Kennedy: What do you mean?
Goldust: Yeah. Tying your wrists with the chain... Here, I'll show you.
Mr. Kennedy: Are you sure what you are doing?
Goldust nodded and grabbed a hold of the chain, wrapping it and tying a knot around Ken's wrists, he then proceeded to tie his own wrists.
Goldust: See? Now if you want the chain off... All you gotta... do... is... Pull over... here...
Goldust pulled, but not only the chain didn't come off, it seemed to tighten it's wrap around Ken's wrists.
Mr. Kennedy: Ouch!
Goldust moved the chains around and...
Goldust: Uh-oh!
Mr. Kennedy: What do you mean uh-oh?
Goldust: The I think I screwed the knot... No choice but to power out of the chain.
Goldust inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, his veins bunching and his muscles tightened as his yellow ki (or aura) exploded, with little chunks of rock floating up in the air as he yelled out... Ultimately breaking the chains as if it was nothing...
(GOTCHA, of course nothing of that could happen... Goldust is a weakling!)
The golden freak looked at Ken.
Mr. Kennedy: I'm waiting...
Goldust: How about we go get some help?
Mr. Kennedy: Really good idea, let everyone think we're a couple of... Wait, let everyone think I'm a freak! Because you're one for damn sure!
Goldust: Come on, stop whining!
Mr. Kennedy: I have a freaking match at Fallout! How can I not... Wait, I'm not whining!
Goldust: Okay, bitching! Whatever, let's go get help...
Ken sighed and closed his eyes.
Goldust: One sec... I gotta go to the bathroom.
Like hell you would!
Ken grunted and pulled on Goldust, dragging him out of the locker room. Both chained members of AssDust roamed along the backstage halls, which seemed completely deserted.
Goldust: Ouch! You're hurting my wrists Ken!
Ken turned to Goldust.
Mr. Kennedy: Shut up! You got us into this It's all your fault... So shut the hell up!
Ken was turning his attention to Goldust as they walked. Thus, unable to see the tall man in the purple silk shirt and the purple headband standing before them, eventually bumping into him. Zack Ryder had been lost in his thoughts, and hadn't noticed Kennedy and Goldust until he bumped into him. He looked at Ken, looked at the chain, then looked Kennedy in the eye and uttered four words.
Zack Ryder: Are you serious, bro?
Ken turned to Goldust and scoffed at him.
Mr. Kennedy: See? I told you everyone think I am a weirdo like you!
Goldust turned to Zack and smiled.
Goldust: Mr. Ryder! I'm a big fan! I'd spike my hair if I had any... You see we were enjoying the privacy of our locker room, preparing for this huge match and got into a little predicament... Think you could help us.
Ken stared in disbelief at the poor choice of words by the gold one. Ryder's eyes widened with fear.
Zack Ryder: Uh... I'm flattered, but I don't swing that way, broski. It's cool that you guys do, though. No hate.
Goldust: Come on... Just a little chink to my chain and I'll be eternally grateful! I promise you will never forget the name...
Goldie ran his hands all the way up his alba line as he inhaled deeply, as his hands reached his throat he exhaled into Ryder's face.
Goldust: Goooooooooldusssssst!
He turned to Ken, who seemed completely disappointed.
Goldust: Oh! Right! When I'm with him we're AssDust...
Goldust turned to Kennedy, who shook his head. Ken looked at Ryder, who still seemed a bit freaked out.
Mr. Kennedy: Look, this freak got me into these chains and I need to get out of them, I have a big match at Fallout!
Ryder shuffled sideways, moving away from Goldust. He looked at the chains again.
Zack Ryder: I'm sorry bro, I'm just not into... chains. I'm sure there's someone that can help you, try Cena! He calls himself the Chain Gang Soldier...
Goldust leaned in to whisper in a painfully soft and perverted voice.
Goldust: Don't be such a meanie... Help us with our long, thick, dangling chains... Woo...Woo...Woo
Zack Ryder: No!
Ryder shoved Goldust to one side and ran past him, marking a swift exit. Goldust turned to Ken.
Goldust: Shall we go find Cena then?
Mr. Kennedy: No! I'd rather stay chained to yo ufor the rest of my days than asking for help from that moron!
Ken dragged Goldust towards a nearby door and slammed the door with the chain there... Nothing happened.
Goldust: We can always go to the train tracks a couple of blocks away and wait for a train to free us...
Ken thought for a moment.
Mr. Kennedy: Bad Idea. I say we rush to the nearest home depot store and get ourselves out of this.
Not waiting for a reply Ken dragged his chained friend towards the parking lot as the scene faded to black.
February 26th, 2012. AllState Arena, Chicago, Illinois. EBWF Fallout.
The camera panned out from Ken's wrists, which he rubbed a little, even shooting a menacing look at Goldust. Both men stood in a hallway in the back, apparently they returned from the Home Depot in time for Ken's match and freed themselves from the linking predicament they were in.
Goldust: I think your training is complete!
Ken muttered something and shook his head. Jonathan Coachman walked in front of them... Ken wasn't having any of it.
Mr. Kennedy: I'll do this before you screw it up.
Ken shoved him aside.
Mr. Kennedy: Ladies and gentlemen... Competing tonight... In a Chain Match for the Intercontinental Champion! Weighing two hundred and forty two pounds! Mr. Money in the bank! The soon to be Intercontinental champion... From Green Bay, Wisconsiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!
MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNEEEEEEEDYYYYYYYY
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
KENNEDY!
Ken smiled into the camera as the crowd cheered for him. He reached out and pulled Coachman from his shirt back into the scene .
Mr. Kennedy: There do your thing.
The Coach: Ken...
Mr. Kennedy: That's Mr. Kennedy to you! See? That's my major concern here... What do I have to do to get some respect? Is it being a Rumble runner up not enough? Is it going toe to toe with the Viper Randy Orton without getting my head punted not enough? Jeez!
The Coach: Sorry.
Mr. Kennedy: Yeah you better be! Tonight it's not about winning that Intercontinental Championship, which should have been mine years ago! Tonight I get a whole set of things straightened out... First and foremost: I am the ONE AND ONLY asshole in Professional Wrestling today! Got it? You want me throne? Tweeting Hashtag Heel, coming up with witty responses or badmouthing a live crowd isn't going to take you there... My opponent tonight has apparently gained his popularity ever since becoming and asshole... He's in a stable with another guy who captured the world title by being an asshole! The remaining guy usually adapts and sticks to whatever his buddies do... When he aligned himself with Punk he was Straightedge, now he wants to be an asshole like his two friends. I see the EBWF roster name by name Coach and I could've sworn there are a good bunch of Superstars being assholes... When that's actually my thing. Hell, I even had this weird dream the other night where Michael Cole! Yes! That wimp Michael Cole actually badmouthed a live crowd! "What has the world come to?" I thought... I'm glad that was just a dream! So Coach, tonight I don't care the outcome of the match... I am out there to deliver a message! I'M AN ASSHOLE. Plain and simple.
The Coach: But it's a match for the Intercontinental Title...
Mr. Kennedy: I know... I know! A Championship belt that I have competed for in the past! A title that has eluded me twice in the past. But you know Coach? I figured, I have survived and made a name for myself without the Intercontinental Championship around my waist... I've "taken names" and beaten whoever has stepped in front of me.
Ken made sure his fingers signaled he was quoting AJ's comments during their last meeting.
Mr. Kennedy: I know I lost to Randy Orton twice, despite Pinning him three times in one match... Do you remember? That Iron man Cage match where random interference was due every 10 minutes? Three Times, I pinned him THREE times... I don't think anyone has ever managed such thing... On top of that tonight I only have to pin my opponent ONCE.
The Coach: You and AJ Styles haven't looked eye to eye...
Mr. Kennedy: And why is that? Let me explain! AJ Jumped me on every chance he got with his little friends, then he weaseled out when it was time to face the music. Tonight it is different, may you remind us why Coachie boy?
The Coach: Tonight you guys are set to compete in a chain match!
Mr. Kennedy: DING DING DING!!!! WHAT HAVE WE GOT FOR HIM JOHNNY! A WIG!
The Coach: A Wig? For me?
The Coach seemed enthusiastic about covering his bald head.
Mr. Kennedy: Actually, no. Coach, tonight I am going to be chained to AJ Styles... And we won't be unchained until the bell rings and one of us is completely beat down. It's a bit extreme if you ask me, but the man left me no choice! You know I have heard what the man has got to say... He's begging for recognition, he's aching for the EBWF Superstars to recognize him as a threat... He has taken out multiple world champions, he freaking won the Royal Rumble... Yet he keeps moaning and bitching about not being taken seriously. Then you thow yours truly into the mix... Rubbing salt in the fresh wound. I'd be angry too if someone arrived to pull the plug on his fancy little act of being mean to everyone... Sadly he wasn't the first asshole and he certainly isn't the best one either! So I understand this "Facing Mr. Kennedy" thing making him a little uneasy... After all I'm an asshole and people seem to have quite a liking for me.
He shrugged a little.
Mr. Kennedy: Sorry to pop your bubble AJ, you can be as much of a douche as you say you are... But you will never surpass the excelence of assacution. What I am trying to say is: I'm the bigger asshole out of the two of us man. Plain and Simple. Tonight I get to show you that and take you to school personally in a match where you won't be able to run away... In a match where we will be chained to one another... I'm pretty sure he has thought about all the possibilities we have with a chain around our wrists. You see AJ, I don't expect to use the chain much... The only thing I need it for is to keep you inside the ring... Because I don't like my opponents to hit and run. AJ Styles has demanded to be taken seriously, AJ Styles is no longer that silent kid from TNA who came out and did his work quietly on the ring, sucked up the pops and went backstage... No! He's all grown now! He has a bigger mouth! He has a posse too! Plus, he's a coward.
The Coach looked at Ken.
Mr. Kennedy: You heard me... He's a coward. After a month of running away from me... The so called next World Champ, the next WrestleMania headliner is going to show his true colors. He's going to show the world how much he's worth without Miz or Ted by his side.
The Coach: Do you really think the challenging him to this match has given you the upper hand? Do you think you got inside his head by doing so?
Mr. Kennedy: Nope... I don't think so. AJ has slept like a baby for the past week if you ask me. He's dreaming about conquering the world with his boy band, he's dreaming about main eventing WrestleMania Eleven... Hell! He's even fantasizing about defeating me and beating me down to a pulp! Truth is he has shown he doesn't care for EBWF or the business... He has to be under the spotlight at all times or a show isn't worth to watch. AJ wouldn't mind losing the Intercontinental title, after all he has got his WrestleMania ticket. I'm not to underestimate him Coach... It's true he has nothing to lose on this match, but it is also true that he is cocky, and full of pride... He isn't going down easily. Do you really think he'd get beat up by someone who is -according to him.- inferior? Not a chance.
Ken nodded a little at the camera.
Mr. Kennedy: What I am trying to say Coach is that there is apparently a lot on the line tonight. But there actually isn't... Forget the titles, forget the WrestleMania main events, forget AJ's ego! Tonight will be just him and me, chained in that ring... Beating the crap out of each other! Winner takes all... Money, Prostitutes, The Intercontinental Belt, Pride... You name it! Whatever floats your boat... But the winner can only be one... And that is...
Ken Inhaled deeply.
Mr. Kennedy: MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
Ken stared boldly into the camera as the scene faded to a commercial break.
Ken made sure his fingers signaled he was quoting AJ's comments during their last meeting.
Mr. Kennedy: I know I lost to Randy Orton twice, despite Pinning him three times in one match... Do you remember? That Iron man Cage match where random interference was due every 10 minutes? Three Times, I pinned him THREE times... I don't think anyone has ever managed such thing... On top of that tonight I only have to pin my opponent ONCE.
The Coach: You and AJ Styles haven't looked eye to eye...
Mr. Kennedy: And why is that? Let me explain! AJ Jumped me on every chance he got with his little friends, then he weaseled out when it was time to face the music. Tonight it is different, may you remind us why Coachie boy?
The Coach: Tonight you guys are set to compete in a chain match!
Mr. Kennedy: DING DING DING!!!! WHAT HAVE WE GOT FOR HIM JOHNNY! A WIG!
The Coach: A Wig? For me?
The Coach seemed enthusiastic about covering his bald head.
Mr. Kennedy: Actually, no. Coach, tonight I am going to be chained to AJ Styles... And we won't be unchained until the bell rings and one of us is completely beat down. It's a bit extreme if you ask me, but the man left me no choice! You know I have heard what the man has got to say... He's begging for recognition, he's aching for the EBWF Superstars to recognize him as a threat... He has taken out multiple world champions, he freaking won the Royal Rumble... Yet he keeps moaning and bitching about not being taken seriously. Then you thow yours truly into the mix... Rubbing salt in the fresh wound. I'd be angry too if someone arrived to pull the plug on his fancy little act of being mean to everyone... Sadly he wasn't the first asshole and he certainly isn't the best one either! So I understand this "Facing Mr. Kennedy" thing making him a little uneasy... After all I'm an asshole and people seem to have quite a liking for me.
He shrugged a little.
Mr. Kennedy: Sorry to pop your bubble AJ, you can be as much of a douche as you say you are... But you will never surpass the excelence of assacution. What I am trying to say is: I'm the bigger asshole out of the two of us man. Plain and Simple. Tonight I get to show you that and take you to school personally in a match where you won't be able to run away... In a match where we will be chained to one another... I'm pretty sure he has thought about all the possibilities we have with a chain around our wrists. You see AJ, I don't expect to use the chain much... The only thing I need it for is to keep you inside the ring... Because I don't like my opponents to hit and run. AJ Styles has demanded to be taken seriously, AJ Styles is no longer that silent kid from TNA who came out and did his work quietly on the ring, sucked up the pops and went backstage... No! He's all grown now! He has a bigger mouth! He has a posse too! Plus, he's a coward.
The Coach looked at Ken.
Mr. Kennedy: You heard me... He's a coward. After a month of running away from me... The so called next World Champ, the next WrestleMania headliner is going to show his true colors. He's going to show the world how much he's worth without Miz or Ted by his side.
The Coach: Do you really think the challenging him to this match has given you the upper hand? Do you think you got inside his head by doing so?
Mr. Kennedy: Nope... I don't think so. AJ has slept like a baby for the past week if you ask me. He's dreaming about conquering the world with his boy band, he's dreaming about main eventing WrestleMania Eleven... Hell! He's even fantasizing about defeating me and beating me down to a pulp! Truth is he has shown he doesn't care for EBWF or the business... He has to be under the spotlight at all times or a show isn't worth to watch. AJ wouldn't mind losing the Intercontinental title, after all he has got his WrestleMania ticket. I'm not to underestimate him Coach... It's true he has nothing to lose on this match, but it is also true that he is cocky, and full of pride... He isn't going down easily. Do you really think he'd get beat up by someone who is -according to him.- inferior? Not a chance.
Ken nodded a little at the camera.
Mr. Kennedy: What I am trying to say Coach is that there is apparently a lot on the line tonight. But there actually isn't... Forget the titles, forget the WrestleMania main events, forget AJ's ego! Tonight will be just him and me, chained in that ring... Beating the crap out of each other! Winner takes all... Money, Prostitutes, The Intercontinental Belt, Pride... You name it! Whatever floats your boat... But the winner can only be one... And that is...
Ken Inhaled deeply.
Mr. Kennedy: MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNEEEEEEEDYYYYYYYY
.
..
...
...KENNEDY!