Monday, March 26, 2012

Get back in line chump...

Wednesday, April 20th, 2012, The Anderson Residence.

"This needs to stop... You've been blading yourself for the past month week, after week after week..."

Ken turned the television off and turned his head to face his wife Shawn.

Shawn: It can't be healthy for a man like you to blade himself week after week after week...

Ken Anderson: Babe, if Allen smacks my skull with a chair a dozen times it is necessary to keep the realism...

Shawn: Weekly?

Ken Anderson: What can I say? It was an intense rivalry...

Shawn: Will you do it again at WrestleMania?

Ken shook his head, then shrugged. That gesture made Shawn fold her arms and dart an inquiring look at her husband.

Ken Anderson: I haven't spoken to James yet but it is a regular match and there's no beef between Mr. Kennedy and James Storm so I doubt there will be any blood.

Shawn: There better not be Ken... It can't be healthy, plus the scars are hideous.

Ken Anderson: Hun, the medical department is okay with it and I cut myself right next to the scalp... You won't even notice.

Shawn: I don't care... And I can see a scar from here.

The angry wife stood across the couch where Ken was sitting.

Ken Anderson: Alright boss, whatever you say.

Shawn sat across the couch and smiled over at him.

Shawn: I'm really worried about you Ken.

Ken shifted his position on the couch and faced his wife, perking an eyebrow.

Ken Anderson: Me?

Shawn: Yes, you've been acting strange as of late... You play less videogames, watch less movies, you're all about work, work, work, work... I know you're right now in a high time in your career, but I'm worried you might burn out!

Ken Anderson: Burn out?

Ken remained silent.

Shawn: Let's see... You cut the carbs for three weeks and counting, you doubled your gym routine and mat work sessions with Dustin, you even had to get a replacement for him because you want to do mat work all the time... I know he is semi retired but... What I am trying to say is... Ken don't overdo it.

Ken Anderson: Don't overdo it? Babe, it took me two years to get people from creative to toss a bone at me... Do you know how it feels to put people over? To watch people who beat you move on to greater things while you're still that guy who gets to the top of the staircase and falls back on the last step?

Ken shook his head, remembering the series of matches between him and Randy Orton, or the matches against John Cena, which he lost... Both men moved on to be IC champs and later on World Champs.

Shawn: I know it was hell... I watched you dunking bowl after bowl of ice cream down your throat, I watched you all moody and grumpy! I felt your pain too, so don't talk to me as if I didn't know. Good! Bravo! You became the champion! You have a big ass belt!

Ken Anderson: Which you won't let me to wear on the street.

Shawn: We're not discussing about that Ken! You are on top of the world right now! You are a champion! You need to eat like a champion, but also rest and sleep like one. I don't want you to turn into some workaholic...

Ken stared at his wife, who always had the ability to make his knucklehead come to sense.

Shawn: I will forfeit that title belt you carry so proudly around to bring you back. Ken, I'm not enjoying what you've become... And I would trade the EBWF Intercontinental champion for the loving husband and wonderful man you were any day.

Ken had nothing to say, really.

Shawn: We can work things out... We can get help, we can hire you a personal trainer, someone who watches your calorie intake, who sets all your interviews and organizes your schedule, someone who helps you train the right amount of sessions per week... We can pay for luxuries like that... But I miss you clowning around the house babe.

Her slender arms slowly wrapped around his neck as she dragged his head close to her shoulder. Ken remained silent.

Shawn: I talked to Dr. Clemente and she'd be expecting you before WrestleMania...

Ken slipped away from Shawn and looked at her.

Ken Anderson: There's nothing wrong with me.

Shawn: You might haven't noticed, or maybe it is just me... But for the love of God, please go.

There was no arguing with his woman, for some reason when Ken gazed into those big browns he was left helpless. He nodded... She leaned in to kiss his forehead slowly.


Wednesday March 21th - Dr. Clemente's office

He hated doctors, self righteous know-it-alls who rejoiced in the filth of their own knowledge, who loved to bash each other in search for the one and only truth about the human body. Dr. Clemente wasn't anything like them, but Ken still had his problems with being examined like a Guinea pig, he was doing this for love... Not for something else. Ken had blood samples taken a few hours ago, as well as an urine sample... He was expecting to meet up with Dr. Clemente for the results. He knocked on the door, wearing black jeans and a black polo shirt, black kicks, trademark bubble gum in his face.

Dr. Clemente: Come in.

Ken turned the knob to she side and pushed the door open.

Ken Anderson: What's up doc?

Dr. Clemente smiled and motioned for him to sit down.

Dr. Clemente: Please sit down Ken.

He closed the door behind him and walked cowardly towads the seat, like he used to when he was sent to the principal's office at school. There she was, dressed in her white medical coat, sitting behind a wooden desk with a laptop to her left and a piece of paper to her right.

Dr. Clemente: Your wife called... But your wife is not my patient. She is just very in love and wants the best for you, so do I.

Ken Anderson: You are in love with me?

Dr. Clemente shook his head, not even smiling up at the comment.

Dr. Clemente: Ken, I want the best for all the EBWF Talent... Being healthy is not about training 24/7 or dropping carbs. Health isn't the absence of sickness... It is a state of physical, mental and sentimental well being. Now, is there something troubling you?

Ken shook his head and scoffed.

Ken Anderson: Don't worry doctor... Shawn is just a little worried because I doubled my training regime.

Dr. Clemente: Any particular reason?

Ken Anderson: I'm a champion... I need to stay fit.

She scribbled down a little on a piece of paper and nodded.

Dr. Clemente: What does your training consist of?

She looked into Ken's blue eyes... He wasn't going to be able to get away with anything.

Ken Anderson: Just some cardio...

Dr. Clemente: How much cardio?

Ken Anderson: 90 minutes...

Dr. Clemente scribbled down again on the piece of paper.

Dr. Clemente: What next?

Ken Anderson: Some weights...

Dr. Clemente: Okay, how do you distribute the weightlifting weekly?

Ken Anderson: I've been taking a daily body pump class...

Dr. Clemente: Never heard of it.

Ken Anderson: It's a 60 minute class where you work with a single barbell through the whole hour and do different types of moves and reps to work out all of your body

Dr. Clemente: All of your body? Legs, arms, torso, and core.

Ken Anderson: Yup.

Dr. Clemente: And you do it everyday?

Ken Anderson: Yes. I take two classes.

Dr. Clemente: And then?

Ken Anderson: I go take a break in the sauna or jacuzzi for 30 minutes, then matwork.

Dr. Clemente: Everyday?

Ken Anderson: Yes.

She shook her head a little. She wasn't even going on with his dietary routine... She felt it could be much worse than his training regime.

Dr. Clemente: Ken, I think you'd be better off with a guided routine... I know a couple of people who can really help you maximize your training. You are EBWF talent, and we care for all EBWF talent, not only champions. They don't get special treatment, because every single wrestler, diva and manager is a human being... I'll hook you up with a couple of people...

Ken Anderson: I don't see what's wrong...

Ken was preparing to stand up and storm off, but her next words kept him nailed to the seat.

Dr. Clemente: Allow me to enlighten you Ken...Your lab results are in.

She turned her attention to the screen of her computer.

Dr. Clemente: Let's see... Your food blood exam turned out fine... So did your Lipid profile. However, your lactic acid blood levels are higher than someone who had run a marathon Ken, lactic acid is very harmful to muscle metabolism, and it hurts like hell. Also, your urinalysis showed microhematuria and myoglobinuria... Which in English means you have a little bleeding on your urine, as well as muscle tissue... I don't think your kidneys are sick or something, but the blood and muscle bits are coming from overdoing your workout.

Ken looked as if he had seen a ghost, was he going to bleed to dead through his urine?

Dr. Clemente: It's not an emergency, you will still be able to compete, train, have a normal life... This is a flag for us to lead you towards a proper training regime and diet. Do you want my help?

Ken Anderson: You're the boss doc.

Dr. Clemente: You are the patient Ken. I can't do much for you if you aren't willing to take my advice. Tell me, is there any reason why you decided to turn up a notch in your training and dieting?

Of course there was. Ken looked at Hope Clemente.

Ken Anderson: Yes...

Dr. Clemente: I'm listening.

Ken Anderson: I don't want management to think I am slacking off...

Dr. Clemente: are you worried about losing the 'upper carder' status?

Ken nodded barely, while Dr. Clemente scribbled some more on her paper.

Dr. Clemente: Ken, have you been having fun as of late? I'm asking because you are usually clowning around whenever you get the chance...

Ken Anderson: The usual... TV, hanging out with the wife.

Dr. Clemente: No offense, but it doesn't look like you've been enjoying yourself as of late... Not at home with your wife, not at the gym, not on the road...

Ken Anderson: You... You are right.

Dr. Clemente: Being a champion doesn't mean you can't have fun... I know it's a lot of pressure! The amount of interviews, autographs and events you are going to be attending is colossal! My advice? go with the flow, have fun and turn back to your old workout routine... I'll tell you what... I'll mail you a couple of things for you to eat healthy... Also I think I have a pretty good routine to stay fit. I'll hook you up with the one who sells it.

Ken Anderson: That sounds awesome.

Dr. Clemente: Ken, I would like to see you in my office on a regular basis and see how we do with the changes I'm suggesting.

Ken smiled.

Ken Anderson: You are on Doc.

He reached out to shake Dr. Clemente's hand and smiled. He needed professional help to be on top of his game and he was going to get it. Nutrition facts, a lighter routine and someone to speak his mind and to help him shift the paradigms and dealing with the pressure of being a champion.


 Sunday, April 25th 2012, Edward Jones Dome, Wrestlemania XI

The EBWF home for WrestleMania XI was at full capacity and people couldn't get enough of their EBWF superstars in the biggest event of the year. "Turn up the trouble" By Airbourne blared over the PA system and the crowd cheered out for the intercontinental champion. Dressed in his ring attire and proudly carrying his intercontinental title belt around his waist he wasted no time in walking down to the ring... The lights dimmed and a spotlight bathed the blonde loudmouth as he stood in the middle of the ring... his Sinatra mic fell down from the rafters slowly. Ken struck his trademark pose and grabbed the microphone on his right hand.

Mr. Kennedy: Ladies and Gentlemennnnnn... Welcome to Kenstermania!!!!!!! Introducing EBWF's biggest asshole... weighing and astonishing two hundred and forty two pounds, I hail from Green Bay, Wisconsiiiiiiiiin... I am the EBWF Intercontinental champion...

He inhaled deeply...

Mr. Kennedy: MISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER KEEEEENNEEEEEDYY!!!!!!

Ken threw his arms up in the air for the crowd to shout "KENNEDY", they went wild. Ken waited for them to settle down.

Mr. Kennedy: That's right. Kennedy. That's what the little plate on my INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP BELT says.

He smiled a little, holding the microphone close to his lips.

Mr. Kennedy: I couldn't be happier to be here... In the biggest stage of them all, WrestleMania as your Intercontinental Champion! I hope all of Kennedy's assholes are in for a treat tonight because my very first succesful title defense is taking place in this very ring... I can't wait for it to happen! 

The crowd cheered.

Mr. Kennedy: It would have been awesome if I had given the chance to AJ Styles to reclaim this title, but I believe he has his hands full with the Miz... So I was pitching ideas to the guys sitting behind mahogany desks in their crisp suits about a nice match up... I suggested bringing back someone like Shawn Michaels, someone like Sting to face me... I even pondered about calling Orton and challenging him to a match, but he has his hands full as well... They told me "Kenny, don't worry... We will have a match to decide who will you face at Wrestlemania...". I tuned in on Monday night to see my potential contenders...

Ken shook his head a little.

Mr. Kennedy: A Mr. Ass impersonator and a Cowboy with Jeff Hardy... Jeffrey Nero is a freaking legend here, don't get me wrong... He just hasn't been on his game as of late. Somehow he went from being a multi time world champion to losing against two newcomers. Dolph Ziggler... He arrived at the rumble and had a decent showing, but has failed to capitalize his chances at the Breakout Title and the Intercontinental Championship... Something that he has in common with my opponent, James Storm.

Ken chewed on his bubblegum.

Mr. Kennedy: He hasn't been here for long... He already screwed up on a match to become the Breakout title number 1 contender. Did he get fired? Nooo, was he sent back to polish his in ring skills? Nooo, he is given a shot at the Intercontinental title...

Ken slowly unwrapped the gold belt around his waist and gazed at the prize.

Mr. Kennedy: When I was first awarded a shot at the Intercontinental Title I felt glad... I had the chance to hold a title that was held by legends like Scott Hall, Shawn Michaels, Curt Hennig, Triple H, Chris Jericho... And if I ever held the title I would be immortalized alongside them! I was thrilled about the thought! After all the Intercontinental title has always been known to be the most important title right after the World title... Right?

He paused a little, blowing his cheeks full of air and shrugging.

Mr. Kennedy: Yet here I am, about to defend my title against someone who has had what... Three matches since he arrived here? I don't mean to bash James Storm... I think he has everything he needs to be a big star in EBWF, but his revolution won't be happening tonight..

Ken turned his attention to a camera shooting from the nearest turnbuckle, he fixed his eyes on the lens.

Mr. Kennedy: You know.... It took me two years, two freaking years, 730 days, 17500 hours, 1,051,200 minutes, 63,072,00 seconds to wrap my fingers around this belt. I was denied of this honor on countless occasions by men who moved on to bigger things... Now, after working my ass off I finally have what always should've been rightfully mine...

Ken proudly raised his title belt for the camera and the world to see it.

Mr. Kennedy: And you think I'm going to drop it here? At WrestleMania XI? Against a guy who is just... Green? Against a guy who hasn't shown me what he's made of?

He shook his head slowly.

Mr. Kennedy: Not gonna happen. I fought for this championship belt, I was RKO'd, busted open, powerbombed, caged, bullied and screwed out of this title time after time! WELL NOT ANYMORE! There is no way in hell I am going to let James Storm walk out of my ring with MY title.

Ken placed the belt over his left shoulder slowly.

Mr. Kennedy: James, I know you just arrived and you have plenty of expectations here at EBWF, but you will have to look other way for your gold rush reward cowboy. Just because you won a match it doesn't mean you are ready to face me... It might have taken me a long ass while to win this belt, but you can ask Randy Orton, you can Ask Brian Kendrick, you can ask John Cena and AJ Styles... Ask any of them what's it like to face me.

He paused a little and smiled.

Mr. Kennedy: They will all probably tell you I'm loud... AND PROUD! They will probably tell you I am a grade A trash talker! They are going to tell you I am a clown! They're going to tell you how I choke on big matches... You know James, they would probably never tell you about the atmosphere when you face me... About how it feels when Kennedy's Assholes break out with a chant for Green Bay's last hope! About how, from out of nowhere they have been Mic checked, Steamrolled by the Green Bay Plunge and Kenton bombed... They would probably never admit I gave them the ride of their lives! But I am not worried about them handpicking facts to make me look bad... After all, we live in a digital era, even if you're reluctant on using light bulbs and still love beating your own stick to make butter... 

Ken smiled.

Mr. Kennedy: So if you've ever heard about YouTube, make a quick search before you get into this duel, pilgrim! Check YouTube out and you will see a man who doesn't go down easily, a man who always fights with every fiber of his body, a man who cares about what these people really want, a former Money In The Bank winner, a War games cage match participant, a man who looked at "The Killer" Randy Orton in the eye more than once and lived to tell the tale... A man whose name is written upon this belt, and that without a shadow of a doubt will still be written on it after our match... a man who goes by the name of....

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER....


KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDYYYYY!!!!


KENNEDY!

Mr. Kennedy: Oh... And one more thing: Sorry 'Bout your damn luck son!

"Turn up the trouble" blasted over the PA system for the second time on the night as Ken posed on top of a turnbuckle with both his microphone and his Intercontinental title.